A Birthday Reflection

This is a late post about my birthday reflection.

This year I became 29 years old, the last 20th birthday in my life. Sometimes it felt scary. I mean, I passed a quarter of a century. If I’m lucky, maybe I still have another 20 or 30 years to live.

And the scariest thing in my thought is what have I done in my life…?? Not much… I haven’t get married yet, no children, no fixed job yet… Based on the common standard of this world (get married, have children, stable job, house, car), I’m a failure. 

If I see things from that perspective, I might be so desperate and tend to kill myself. But then, I think how stupid is that idea.

My life is not that bad. Now, I have a lot of improvements by myself… back then, when I lived in Jakarta, I never ever cooked by myself, I never bike, I never have time for myself. I was always busy with work and other social activities that I didn't really enjoy. I have no life skill other than something related to my office job. I had stressful daily life, managing my job and traffic jam in Jakarta. Every day I dreamt of a better place and better life quality than what I had in Jakarta. A place where I can explore new cultures and new people.

So then I moved to Europe. I left my prestigious job and bright future behind to do something completely different. I left my families and friends to somewhere that I know nobody. It was like I ran away to a place where I could die in few seconds, chasing something unclear and way worse than what I had in Jakarta.

Though it sounds crazy, never once I regret my decision to move. True it was sad when I left everything and everybody. Now, I can live independently in another country and another continent, I start from zero, surviving in this life. Now, I can cook, I can bike, I have time for myself, to contemplate, exploring myself, meeting new friends and culture. I got a happy and better life quality.

In summary, life is short. So I decided to make it less painful by not having stressful thought.

In this new age, I don't desire for a long life. I just hope that I will have some other years with a high life quality and be always happy no matter what.

B,

Vienna, April 29^th, 2018